


Easier to Confess

by Falloutdestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11 x 06, Canon Divergence, Confession, First Kiss, IKEA Shopping, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Multi, Realisation, lying, more tags to come, s11
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-01 14:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5209499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falloutdestiel/pseuds/Falloutdestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel have been avoiding talking about the nights they spent in the company of violence, they finally decide to talk about it and it goes as well as they thought it would.</p><p>---</p><p>Set in season 11, sort of goes along with the show just my version of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Easier to confess

Sam walked off leaving Dean and Cas alone, still staring at each other with an emotion that Sam couldn't quite place.

"Dean we need to talk," Cas started shifting himself slightly before looking up at Dean again,  
"Well what have we been doing this whole time, we've talked its done," Dean straightened himself up avoiding eye contact and conversation at that. Dean knew what Cas wanted to talk about but he wasn't about to spill his guts for him.

"No Dean, this is about what's going on between us," Dean looked at Castiel with a glare that Cas hadn't seen since that night..

_Dean slammed Cas into the bookcase, "Dean.. Please.." Cas begged grabbing Dean's arm now smothered in Castiel's own blood. Dean violently kicked Cas in the stomach, his mind going blank as he watched the petty remains of a once powerful Angel spit up blood. Dean knew deep down that this attack on his closest friend was irrational but the burning inside Dean told him otherwise. "This is how it's supposed to be!" Dean shouted,slamming Cas's limp body against the floor, positioning himself above Cas, Dean raised the Angel blade ready to bring it down on his chest. Dean stared into Cas's near lifeless eyes almost feeling a pang of regret. "Please.." The diminishing Angel repeated still lightly holding on to Dean's wrist. Dean took one Last breath before calling out and striking the Angel blade inches from Castiel's head. Cas closed his eyes, hiding the growing tears as Dean slowly removed himself from Cas and walked out of the bunker not even bothering with a second glance._

Dean gulped and felt himself go numb, "Cas, buddy.." Dean started already running low on breath, "I'm sorry, I am but neither of us where in exactly the right piece of mind when we..you know.."

Cas nodded, "yeah," he ran his hands over his face, "but I can't leave myself for a second without remembering what I done to you, the harm, the pain I brought to you..I don't think I can forgive myself for that..."

"You think it's easy for me?" Dean stepped forward now inches from Castiel's pain filled face, "every time I close my eyes I can see.. I can see your bloody corpse, your corpse Cas I nearly killed you!" Dean's face was dulling, tears threatening to spill.

"I could have just as easily done the same to you and you weren't even trying to stop me," Cas's face resembled Dean's, "you should have killed me, you know you could have." Dean was shaking his head, fighting ever harder not to cry. "What good am I now?" Cas shouted, "I'm hardly an angel I'm no use to you or Sam anymore, I'm no use to hell, heaven doesn't want me...I'm just...Castiel..." Cas was looking to the ceiling to avoid Dean's eye.

"Cas don't you say that, hell I wouldn't care if you were paralysed from the neck down!" Dean pointed at Cas, his stomach sinking. "Cas, I need you...I..I love you!" Dean paused before backing away, "Cas you're like...you're like a..." Dean tried to take back what he said, not being able to find the right words.

"I understand Dean," Castiel's throat went dry, "I just feel that we should maybe... spend some time apart, clear out heads before one of us says or does anything we'd regret." Cas got over the initial shock and brushed it off. He gave Dean one more glance before taking off downstairs again.

\---

Sam cautiously walked back into the hall, he spotted Dean pouring himself a glass. Sam knew what went down, he could hear them shouting.

"Hey Dean, is everything... okay?" Sam asked, taking a seat opposite his brother. He noticed that Dean had knocked over a stack of books that Sam had only begun to look through behind him.

"Yeah," Dean started with a sarcastic tone, "yeah Sammy everything is just peachy!" He took a sip of his whiskey, barely meeting Sam's eye.

"I mean is everything okay between you and Cas, I heard shouting," Sam rephrased, hoping for a more legitimate answer.  
"Cas?" Dean pretended to sound like he hadn't just bared arms with the Angel, "Cas is leaving."

"Leaving?" Sam knew they fought but he didn't think it was all that bad, "Why, where's he gonna go?"

"Cas figured we have no use for him no-more," Dean grinned but it felt sickly, "I don't think he's too far off if you ask me," Dean lied before taking another sip.

"You can't really think that," Sam was shocked, he didn't believe a word Dean was saying, "Dean you love him!" Sam was disgusted with Dean's statement.

Dean stood up, "he's an angel, he can't _love_ " Dean took his drink and headed downstairs for his room.

Sam was left alone at the table, confused and sick before being hit by another vision.

\---

Dean sighed as he walked down the stairs, still trying to explain to himself why he said what he said to Sam. Cas walked out of one of the rooms, a duffel bag in hand.

They both stopped and stood in silence for a second.  
"Cas," Dean said before continuing to his room,  
"Dean," Cas said in reply, also continuing on his path.

The broken angel walked up the stairs out of reach from Dean.  
Dean stopped again and heard Sam try to talk to Cas.

"What the hell happened?" Sam asked Cas, expecting a more reasonable answer from the Angel.  
"Dean and I need to spend some time apart, for both our benefit," Cas poorly explained.  
"Why now?" The darkness needed as many hands on deck as it could and Sam knew that, "if you're forgetting we're kinda in the middle of something!"

"Dean agrees that the process would go much smoother if I wasn't there," Cas made it up but just to get Sam off his case, "but Sam, please keep an eye on him for me," he pleaded before heading to the door and shutting it behind him.

Dean heard the bunker door close, the slam made his heart hurt. Dean punched the wall, spilling some of his whiskey in the process. Flashbacks of his confrontation with Amara hit him, how numb being in her presence made him feel. How it all seemed to slow down, Dean could see himself in the girl, he felt like he could empathise, he wanted to help but he knew he had to kill her, that was the only way.

Dean closed the door to his room and sat on the bed, he stared at the picture collection he kept sticking out of his bedside cupboard. He took them out and flicked through them. First he had the picture of himself with Sam and Bobby a few weeks before his father figure was killed. Next he had a rare picture of Cas laughing, he was laughing because Sam slipped on some kids skateboard and fell on his face. Dean remembered it being hilarious, it's hard not to laugh when a grown ass, 6"4 man falls in his face. Next was Sam's first attempt at a selfie, all that could be seen was Sam's forehead, and Dean and Cas unsuccessfully squeezed into the frame. Last was the picture of Dean with his mother...

Dean stuffed the photos back into his drawer when he heard Sam knocking on the door.  
"Dean?" Sam called out concerned about his brother.  
Dean cleared his throat, "em yeah come in," he pulled himself together and did the whole 'act casual' thing.

Same came in, "I seen you spilt whiskey in the hall, just makin sure your okay..."  
"Yeah well I'm fine," Dean stated, "nothing to worry about."  
"You sure?"  
"Positive." Dean kept lying.

"Well that's Cas gone no thanks to you," Sam pulled up a chair.  
"I wish him all the best," Dean said with a hurt in his words.  
"How could you sit back and let him go?" Sam couldn't believe how cool Dean was with it, "you loved having him at the bunker, cooking for him, working with him, knowing he was okay!"

"Cas leaving was his call, he decided that, I wasn't gonna be the one stopping him alright!" Dean ran his hands through his hair, "can we just drop it?"  
"No," Sam pushed, "what's gotten into you Dean, this isn't like you!"  
"It's nothing to worry about!" Dean insisted,  
"Yeah well I'm getting worried Dean!"

 

Dean paused, he didn't want his brother worrying about him, he needed him to focus on himself for a while. He knew he told Sam no more secrets, he knew they always blew up in each others faces, causing more damage than what would be caused if they confessed in the first place.

"I told Cas...that I loved him," Dean went red, ready for Sam to tell him how unfair that was on Cas, to lecture him on the danger of relationships in their line of work but Sam laughed.

"Hey it's not that ridiculous!" Dean blushed some more,  
"No Dean this is great!" Sam was clearly getting a kick out of this. "You always said that we should both settle down with someone who understood our lives. I just didn't know you meant Cas!"

Dean calmed down a little, "yeah well it's too late now, he's gone, he doesn't even like me like that any ways..."

"Dean you gotta call him," Sam said seriously, "he probably hasn't even went that far yet!" Sam was already pulling his phone from his pocket.

"Woah hold on Sammy, I would much rather not risk our friendship than chase some stupid crush or whatever." Dean knew what would happen and didn't want to think of what it would be like if Cas was gone for good.

"I'm gonna call him and apologise, he's safer here with us." Dean got up and walked out of his room.

He dialled Cas's number and hoped the Angel would pick up.

"Hello Dean," came a voice on the other end of the line.

A feeling of relief swept through Dean, if Cas picked up Dean figured he was willing to come home.

"Hiya Cas," Dean grinned, finally feeling at peace with his closest friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh so this is the first fic I've ever posted so some feedback would be appreciated, hope you enjoy!!
> 
> -May


	2. Chapter 2

The door opened and the sound echoed through the empty halls of the bunker. Dean and Sam stood, watching the door as a rugged Castiel set foot back into the bunker. The heel of his worn black shoes clicking against the metal steps.

Dean couldn't be more relieved to see Cas back so soon. They talked over the phone, one of the most comforting conversations either of them had in a long time, not that there was much competition.

Dean flashed Cas a faint smile before walking towards him. Cas returned the smile and pulled Dean into a hug. The heat of Dean contrasted well with the lingering cold from Castiel. They held each other for a short moment but finally pulled away so Cas could greet Sam as well.

"Good to have ya back buddy," Dean chirped heading towards the kitchen,  
"Oh it's good to be back," Cas smiled, sitting down on one of the chairs around the mapped table. Dean reappeared with three beers and bags of snacks.

"Movie night?" He suggested, desperate for things to return to normal.  
"Shouldn't we start planning our next attack on the darkness?" Cas squinted his eyes, looking at Dean as if a movie night was the craziest idea out there.  
"C'mon Cas, let's just rest for a bit first, this has been a wild night." Dean hit Cas in the shoulder and started heading downstairs, knowing Sam and Cas would follow.

Sam decided to let Cas and Dean sit on his bed and took the chair. Although the bed wasn't that big, Dean still managed to get as far away from Cas as possible. Dean's attempts at normalcy were amusing if anything.

They decided on some action movie about a time traveller disguised as a school janitor, it was bound to be the worst movie night ever, the atmosphere was off and everyone noticed. Dean kept looking over at Cas to try to read him, unsuccessful of course but Dean just needed reassurance that Cas wouldn't change his mind and run off in the middle of the night.

"Well that was.." Cas started,  
Dean helpfully finished, "Yeah shit I know, beats research by a long shot though."

That earned a laugh from Sam but Cas kept his poker face. Dean really wished Cas laughed at that, he needed to see that Cas fully forgave him.

"Well im gonna have to hit the hay," Dean stood up, he gave Sam and Cas both a playful pat on the back before retreating to his own room.

"I should lie down too," Cas said, he didn't technically need to sleep but he did like resting.  
"Yeah, night Cas," Sam gave his friend a weary smile before closing the door behind him.

\---

Sam was the first awake, he hated waking up before Dean because that meant Sam had to make breakfast and Dean made omelettes way better than Sam's eggy messes.

He opened the fridge, looking at the sad remains of a weeks groceries. He thought that if he spent enough time at the store then Dean would wake up and make breakfast anyway. Impressed with his plan, Sam grabbed the keys to the impala and headed to the nearest supermarket.

Not even ten minutes later Castiel came out of his room, he didn't even try to sleep that night, he was completely preoccupied with listening to Angel radio, it was hard to do anything when you had thousands of voices yammering in your ear.

Cas took a seat in the library, covering his face with his hands. He was then disturbed by what sounded like an elephant coming up the stairs. When Cas turned to see what was killing the silence, he wasn't surprised to see that the elephant was just Dean.

"Mornin' sunshine," Dean chirped, apparently in a better mood than anyone at the _ungodly_ hour of 11:43am.

"Good morning Dean," Cas replied with 100% less chirp. Dean laughed before heading to the kitchen.

Cas followed him, deciding to distract himself from the screaming in his ears.

"Did you...sleep well?" Cas asked, genuinely curious as to why his friend was in such a good mood.  
"I won't lie to ya man, that was one of the worst nights sleep I've had in a long time," he shook his head when he seen the drab contents in the fridge, "but I just have a good feelin' about today."

It wasn't long until Sam came back with edible food and Dean made a meal fit for kings.  
They were just finishing up when Cas's phone started buzzing with a text.

"Who's that?" Dean mumbled with a mouth full of food,  
"Crowley," Cas replied, the bitterness in his voice almost comical,  
"What does he want?" Deans voice sounding similar to Castiel's.

"' _Heard you broke down, I can fix that' devil emoji knife emoji_ ," Cas read dryly as if it were something he had said for the millionth time.  
"Just ignore him Cas, there's no way Crowley is planning anything he's just feeding the gossip." Sam started clearing away breakfast, knowing that Crowley was the least of their worries.

"How'd he even hear about that?" Dean couldn't even guess how Crowley knew every dirty detail in their packed lives.  
"You'd be surprised at how much heaven and hell can hear," Cas signed remembering how fast word travelled amongst the Angels back in the day.

"Well how about we find ourselves a case," Dean walked over to his laptop, still not wanting to deal with Amara just yet.  
"Doubt you'll find anything big at this time," Sam did the same, leaving Cas to sit on his own, laptop-less.

"Hell Cas if we find one you can come too," Dean grinned over at the solemn looking angel.  
"That's very sweet of you," Cas said sarcastically with what Dean thought was a hint of a smile.

Sam looked at them, he was happy that his brother was finally coming to terms with himself but he also felt a pang in his chest when he thought of how he used to joke about Dean liking Cas with Kevin and Charlie and Bobby, but none of them were here to see it happen.

"Here we go," Dean pointed at his screen, "three bodies found in west Keene, all branded in the chest with the same symbol."  
"It's only a few miles up state, worth a shot," Sam wanted out of the bunker just as much as everyone else, craving a getaway that he couldn't get.  
"I'll get the car ready," Dean stood up and grabbed his keys.

Sam and Cas both started to gather supplies, and in under 15 minutes the bunker was as quiet as it was 10 years ago.

\---

The bunker doors flew open, Sam came rushing down the stairs clearing the table of any loose papers or beer bottles.  
Not far behind him came Dean supporting a woozy looking Castiel.

"Adda boy," Dean grunted as he set Cas on the table, Dean was surprised that Cas was as careless as he was back there, when it came down to ganking the bastards Cas froze, stressing that he didn't want to kill anybody.  
"Guess I was wrong about today huh?" Dean gave Cas a pat on the back before joining Sam.

Cas sat on the table cursing himself as he watched Sam and Dean discuss what to do.

"Guys..." Cas started,  
"Cas don't talk," Dean directed, shaking his head.  
"I.." He tried again,  
"Cas there was no way you could have known those were Angel attacks," Sam looked at the blood seeping through Cas's shirt.

Cas's attempts at healing himself were futile, merely glowing a faint blue before fading again.

Cas could see Dean and Sam whispering, he immediately jumped to the worst conclusions, that they hated him and he was useless and couldn't even manage an angel blade. He was furious with himself.

"What are we supposed to do?" Sam hissed to Dean,  
"We can't put him back on the bench he just got off," Dean rubbed his head, his eyes straining with thought.  
"There's bound to be some way to heal him," Dean couldn't think of any but he was sure there was bound to be some magic Angel rub that would get Cas back in no time.

"We could kill him and wait 'til he's resurrected again," suggested Sam, Dean half laughed knowing that was probably the most reliable solution right now.

Dean walked over to his friend, "Cas any ideas of some quick magic fix for this?" He sat next to him on the table, "some Angel superglue would be great," he nudged him playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

"If we could convince another angel to help then we could get them to heal you," Sam suggested.  
"Hmm I don't know, I'm kinda attached to this one, I don't want another angel runnin' 'round here." Dean joked, half because he knew it's what Cas needed to hear and half because it's true.

"Sam's right, the other angels are our best bet but the chances of finding one willing to help me," Cas shook his head, "are very unlikely."

"What about that Hannah chick, she was into you," Dean said, remembering the time Hannah ordered Cas to kill him, good times.

"Hannah's dead, she was killed trying to protect me not so long ago," Cas woefully recalled.  
They went silent for a moment, all collectively brainstorming.

They were on the edges of giving up when Sam was hit with sudden realisation,  
"Crowley."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go chapter two!! Thanks for all the feedback so far I really appreciate all the support. Really gonna try to keep regular updates!!
> 
> -May


	3. Chapter 3

Sam remembered Crowleys message to Castiel from that morning, how he said about the knife and fixing Cas. He thought the attack might have been arranged by Crowley. Ever since what happened with Amara he's been having to prove himself to the demons to keep himself in office. Killing a few angels might up his score but killing Castiel would be a whole new game.

"Crowley?" Dean said, confused, he was caught up trying to figure put why Crowley wouldn't be out here creating messes himself if he wanted to get through them. Maybe he knew Castiel would be an easy target.

"Yeah," Sam explained, "remember the message from this morning," you could pinpoint the moment when in clicked in Cas and Dean's heads, they both nodded their heads, badly pretending that they knew that already, it was hard to believe that these were two of the universes biggest threats.

"Well what'd he want to off Cas for, he hasn't done anything to him yet!" Dean couldn't think of any _recent_ misfortunes Cas had brought on Crowley. Sure Cas wasn't Crowleys 'bestie' but the unspoken truce between them didn't seem like something Crowley would risk at this point.  
"Respect," Cas said, understanding the situation much better now, "the demons have lost their respect for him as a leader so he's sending them on higher ranked missions."

"Then what the hell are we standing here for let's go kick their ass!" Dean questioned, sick and tired of set backs.  
Sam took out his phone, scrolling through his contact list until he found Crowleys name. He wasn't so sure about confronting Crowley as it only made things more complicated and just left more questions to answer. The demon picked up almost immediately which wasn't surprising.

"Ah moose," he chimed as Sam put him on loudspeaker.  
"Crowley we.." Sam started, interrupted by Dean,  
"Why are your demons killing Angels?" He shouted, not giving Crowley time to talk his way around this one. He had been screwed with too many times for the son of a bitch to dance around the point.

"So that's what they've been doing," Crowley's voice was filled with hate for his minions, they had been disobedient ever since the whole Abaddon; human blood charade, Crowley could hardly keep tabs on them at all these days.  
"Damn straight, the sons of bitches stabbed Cas!" Dean answered rather aggressively,  
"Well Dean, I'm truly very sorry to hear that, you have my condolences," the demon sounded sincere but you could never really tell for sure.

"I'm not dead yet you ass," Cas yelled, he desperately wanted Crowley to be the one behind these attacks so they would have a reason to kill him. He didn't understand that with all these opportunities the boys had and yet Crowley was still alive, he understood that Crowley might have been the best of a bad situation but he wondered where the line was with hindrance over help.  
Crowley put on a faux dreamy voice "Oh there we go Cas, chipper as always."

"Okay so if it's not you planning the attacks...then who is it?" Sam questioned, slightly disappointed that his theory was wrong,  
"Beats me," Crowley stated before hanging up, he had other things to deal with and besides he didn't want to get himself stuck in the middle of the Winchester family drama.

Dean cursed as Sam put his phone away. He just wanted to blame someone for nearly killing Castiel.

Normally Dean would put the blame on himself for this sort of thing, but he was trying to avoid that kind of mindset. He was at the other end of the room when Cas wasn't able to kill the demon or else Dean would have come in and helped. After the talk they had Dean completely understood that Cas wasn't in his full game. He never should have left him alone, hell he never should have let him come.

"I'll go find another lead," Sam sighed, heading back to his laptop.  
"Come on Cas there's bound to be something in the magical medicine cabinet to get you up and kicking again." Dean said as he helped half-drag Cas to the cupboard filled with all kinds of weird remedies.

Sam's frantic typing was soon just faded background noise. Cas sat on the chair while Dean poked through the cabinet, the clinking of bottles keeping them company. Dean took out every bottle or pill box that mentioned pain relief or rapid recovery. He looked through some that weren't even in English, the Angel helpfully translated those.

"Alright," Dean said as he lifted the mound of medicines over to the table next to Cas, "at least one or all of these is bound to work."

Dean started spooning syrups into the Angel, applying creams, giving him pills to pop, Dean wished he had a camera to get a picture of some of the faces he was pulling.  
"This does _not_ taste like red grape," Cas declared after taking a particularly large dose of ' _get well quick_ '. After a few more attempts Cas's wound started to get smaller and smaller until it was the size of a pinprick. Cas felt the glow in his abdomen, every second he felt newer and stronger. Cas saw the smile grow on Dean's face as the human realised what was happening.

"Woah which one was that?" Dean asked frantically searching through the labels of the mysterious treatments. "Shit Cas, that could have been any of em," Dean looked up to see a rather happy Castiel examining his own stomach.

"How about next time I just don't get stabbed," Cas said, his face displaying a definite smile.  
Dean pulled him into a hug, nothing to look into he thought, just a warm, comforting hug. He felt Cas lay his head on his shoulder and Dean grabbed a handful of his trench coat in response letting out an audible hum of content.  
"Good call," Dean whispered mid-hug.

Dean's warm breath on Cas's ear sent shivers down his spine, his stubble briefly scratching against his face. Cas's own breath became tight and quick as he felt the atmosphere grow.

Dean pulled away, his arm lingering at Cas's side just long enough for Cas to pull him back,  
"Dean," he murmured, barely an inch apart; they shared a quick glance confirming their intentions.

Dean grabbed the back of Cas's neck and pulled him closer, completely closing the gap between them. Dean's heart leaped, surprised at his own instinct. Cas's chapped lips connected with the hunters perfectly, Cas's inexperience in the field made it all the more personal, while Dean's expertise led Cas humming into the kiss. Their foreheads bumped awkwardly, sending smiles across their ecstatic faces.  
Dean's hand ran through the Angels hair, gripping at it like a baby to a rattle.

Cas's lips tasted like the grape flavoured syrup he downed previously, he had his hands around Dean's waist, pulling him ever closer. Dean forgot about everything he had going on, all the unresolved issues, all the loose ends, it all disappeared, he brought his hands forward and cupped the Angels face.

They pulled away, their breathing heavy, they leaned forward letting their foreheads touch. They took a moment to catch their breath, smiling into one another.

They were too caught up in the moment to realise that Sam had stopped typing and that he was now standing jaw-slacked in the doorway. Poor Sam didn't know if he should run and pretend he didn't see anything or if he should hide and wait 'till they leave, one thing he wasn't gonna do was announce himself.

He turned cautiously and he nearly escaped too if it wasn't for the beer can that he knocked to the floor with his elbow...

Cas and Dean snapped back into reality and saw Sam standing there cursing his clumsiness. Sam turned to face them his face going a deep crimson.  
"D-don't mind me I'm just getting a-a," Sam picked up the nearest book to him, "this!" He claimed, pointing to a copy of ' _experimental physics for dummies_ '.

Dean nodded going an equal shade of red, Cas bashfully stood behind Dean wondering how much Sam had to witness. He desperately hoped that this didn't make anything awkward between the three of them. Cas wasn't alone in that thought either, Dean didn't want Sam acting weird all the time now that he knew there was something going on, was there something going on?

Dean turned to face Cas again and Sam quickly left, not wanting anymore nightmare fuel.  
"Dean that was..." Cas began,  
"Yeah...yeah it was somethin' alright," Dean grinned, his eyes wrinkling up so Cas could tell he was smiling without taking his eyes away from him.

Dean eyed Cas's hand on the table next to them. He thought for a second before placing his own hand on top of Cas's. They interlocked their fingers, the heat radiating from them. Cas let out a sigh of content, Dean laughed knowing that this was how he was meant to end up. In that moment Dean knew that life was about to get so much easier now he had someone to share it with. Now he just had to keep it, and that was _definitely_ easier said than done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh more easier to confess, really liking where this is going tbh but if it's not Crowley messing with them then who is it?? 
> 
> -May


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh sorry for the long wait but I have exams in a few weeks and really had to study but here you go!!!

It was a quiet few days, the odd case now and again, no word from Crowley or the darkness, nothing big. They needed the rest and decided that they earned it.

It was as if the whole universe just was watching as Dean and Castiel's love unfolded. They kept it on the down low obviously, the gave no sign of anything outside of the bunker for both their sakes. Well they thought they gave no sign anyway, it was the subtle things that would have gave them away to the likes of Crowley or basically anyone with a clue. Dean was much more patient with Cas now, They would check up on one another constantly, they'd split fries in diners, they never left each others side. It was a relationship built on supporting one another.

Dean promised Sam that nothing would change, he didn't want to make his little brother uncomfortable or the new third wheel or anything. But change was inevitable, Sam didn't mind, he saw how happy his brother was now and honestly wished they established their relationship earlier. 

They sat in silence around the table in the bunker library, reading up on some lore, Sam was half asleep, the words on the page barely making sense anymore, he found himself reading the same paragraph over and over. Dean had a beer in one hand and Cas's hand in the other, he smiled to himself as he traced circles on Cas's palm. Like Sam, Cas was exhausted, the warmth of the bunker making his eyes heavy, the angel was developing more human qualities but by choice this time rather than having it forced upon him.

Cas finally stood up in defeat, the night finally getting to him.   
"I can't believe I'm saying this but I need sleep," Cas yawned, he loved sleeping but sadly, he couldn't dream, it was just 4-8 hours a day in the dark. He preferred to be awake and in the company of the sun and the waking world.  
"Don't think I'll be too far behind you," Dean smiled, he pulled Cas down by the collar of his shirt, kissing him goodnight. 

Dean felt lighter since that night with Cas, more like the way he felt before he went to hell. It was as though all the problems they were dealing with weren't all that impossible anymore. Dean needed the push if he was honest, he had been with a guy once before when he was in his twenties but that didn't end all that well if Dean's memory served... The gender thing wasn't an issue to Dean, he'd known for a while he was bisexual but he just didn't want to make a big deal out of it. He just couldn't get over the fact that he was with Castiel, he wondered how long they'd been tiptoeing around this, he couldn't pin-point the line of one thing and another but all that didn't matter anymore.

Sam laughed from the other side of the table as Dean watched Cas walk off. When Dean finally turned around and saw the amused look on Sam's face he got up too.  
"What," Sam joked, "don't I get a kiss?"   
"In your dreams Sammy," Dean laughed, downing the rest of his beer before heading downstairs.

Sam closed the book in front of him, he was so happy for his brother but truth be told Sam was scared; he was scared that the Angels and demons would find out about the relationship and then it'd all be over. It would be the perfect thing to use against them. Sam didn't doubt that Dean and Cas would keep each other safe but every one else already knows that they'd do anything for each other but the circumstances are different now, there's more at stake. 

Dean dragged himself to his room and started undressing. His bed wasn't big enough for both him and Cas to sleep there but they didn't want to rush into anything anyway so they slept in their own respective rooms. Dean crawled into bed, sinking into the memory foam mattress falling asleep in seconds.

\---

By 09:30 they were all awake which was unusual for the trio, Dean was frying eggs in the kitchen, Sam was typing away on his laptop and Cas was drinking a piping hot cup of coffee. The crisp sound of the radio feeding the atmosphere. Dean came in with three plates of breakfast, he was still working on presentation so his dishes were a little messy but they tasted so damn good.

Cas could feel Dean's leg pressing against his own, Cas appreciated the constant contact, it made him feel as though he wasn't alone and he guessed he wouldn't have to ever be alone anymore.

They finished breakfast and immediately started searching for a case. They wanted to keep themselves as busy as possible to build Cas's hunting skills which were, in all fairness, seriously improving since Fred Jones's case a few years back. 

It wasn't long until Cas came across a report on some tacky news website.  
"Two dead in Omaha, both had their lungs removed with no outer body damage." Cas read from Dean's computer.   
"Sounds like our kinda thing," Sam nodded, doing a final check of any wacky accidents on his screen.

They started to get ready for the road trip, gathering up all the necessary supplies and equipment. Dean had his arm thrown around Cas and they had just about thrown their bags on their backs when a loud thump sounded behind them.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" Dean shouted without even turning around, knowing it couldn't be anything good. He unwrapped his arm from around Cas's waist and turned around.

"Mornin' boys," a singsongy voice chimed from behind.

There on the floor lay Rowena, how she got there they didn't know but Dean didn't plan to keep her alive long enough to find out. He pulled his knife from his belt and strutted over to where she lay.

Rowena raised her hands in defence. "Woah woah woah, think this through Dean, haven't you learnt anything?" 

"How did you know we were here?" Sam asked, "wait no, since she can you teleport?" So many questions where swimming in the hunters head on what the witch could possibly want now.

"Interesting questions Samuel," Rowena answered as she stood and brushed herself off, "would you have guessed that I'm working on a spell?" 

Dean rolled his eyes but kept his knife out in case she tried anything.

"That was just a test run of something I was trying out, worked rather well if I do say so myself." She nodded, placing her hands on her hips.

"I'll bet you were the one to take those lungs from the people in Omaha too," Sam groaned,  
"Unrelated," Rowena waved Sam off before giving him a look confirming his accusation.

"What d'ya want Rowena," Dean huffed, he knew she saw that he had his arm around Cas and he desperately hoped that she wouldn't think anything of it.

"You have something I want," she sighed "and I don't think you're in the position not to give it to me, eh Dean?" She winked, glancing over at the Angel who still stood in a quiet anger.

Cas remembered the spell that Rowena put on him, all the people he hurt, the people he was going to hurt, how he attacked Dean..

The Angel was near twitching with anger and the desire to lash out. He stayed still, his fists clenched and his face stiff.

"What else could you want from us that you didn't already take?" Sam snarled, feeling the same anger, remembering Charlie...

"The Cloak of the Unfortunate," she glanced around the room as if they might have hidden it in plain sight.

"The what?" Dean honestly threw back, he definitely never heard of any cloak. 

Shaking her head, Rowena sighed, "it's a cloak given to those whose been through great misfortune."

"So you just heard unfortunate and thought of us?" Sam looked offended but not surprised,  
"Yes, yeah that's pretty much what happened," she agreed.

"I've never heard of such a cloak," Cas piped in at last.  
"Yeah, sorry sister but we don't got it," Dean shrugged, "so there's the door," he pointed to the doors, a sour smile filling his face.

"Oh no no no, it's here," she explained, "I tracked it and I never get something as simple as tracking wrong," her piercing laugh made it seem as though tracking an untraceable bunker was like counting to 10.

"What spell do you need it for anyway?" Cas knew it couldn't be anything good as it was probably taken from the book of the damned.  
"The ceremony of divine disruption or simply the key to the great lock." She looked pleased but 'Divine disruption' didn't sound like an event to shout about. 

"That sounds like a real blast but we're all booked up," Dean was getting impatient, "maybe next year sweetheart."

That's when it started to click in Sam's head, his hallucinations, divine disruption, great lock. Sam felt his stomach sink and his face go pale.  
"You're gonna release lucifer from hell," he nearly whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go!! If you see any typos or mistakes or whatever please let me know and also if there's anything you liked of course!!!
> 
> Thanks for reading, more next week probably
> 
> -May


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh sorry this took so long my laptop charger totally bust and I couldn't write but I'm back with a new chapter!!

The room fell silent, the three boys faces went stone cold, just the thought of apocalypse 2.0 made them want to vomit. Cas couldn't speak, he wanted to shout and scream and react but he couldn't move. The apocalypse was not something Castiel wanted to relive anytime soon. They lost everything in the chaos. The aftermath never stopped, the world without it would be a completely different place and the Angel was afraid that it wouldn't last another war like that.

Sam was now certain that Rowena had something to do with the visions he was having, whatever she was planning to do with 'The Cloak of the Unfortunate' couldn't be good. The thought of having to go through what they did all those years ago made Sam's heart stop. He remembered being dragged through the pit, the burning heat, the noise, all the screams.

The seemingly everlasting silence was broken by a cackle coming from Rowena, she leaned over and held her stomach. A confused glance was shared by Dean, Sam and Cas, all trying to figure out how the revival of the devil himself could ever be funny.

"Release _Lucifer_ from hell!" She cried, wiping her eyes, "oh dear Sammy no!" She recovered from her laughing fit and rolled her eyes.  
"It's for my upcoming Mega Coven!" She searched the faces of the startled hunters looking for some sort of reaction, "oh come on!" She called out, " _Mega Coven_ ," she repeated, hoping for a better reaction this time.

Dean sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "I need a drink." He was sick of the never ending hurdles that he and Sam were going to have to go through. He walked over to the end table and satisfied his craving, he took a brief sip before sitting at one of the tables and putting his feet on the tabletop.

"Mega Coven?" Dean inquired casually, looking as though he was hardly interested at all.

"I'm wasted here," Rowena sighed, shaking her head, "Yes, my Mega Coven will be the new place for all the world's most powerful witches to come together and share their abilities!"

The room fell silent, the idea of Rowena managing to get witches to work together and not screw each other over was ridiculous.  
"Oh yeah, sure, sounds like a real hoot," Dean scoffed.

Sam was slightly sheepish that he was wrong in thinking that Rowena was going to release Lucifer. That just opened up more doors, why was he having visions of Lucifer?  
He figured that someone was sending him these visions, there wasn't many people on the list of candidates, he was sure he'd work it out.

Rowena reached into her pocket and brought out a jar of purple power, "Well boys, it was nice seeing you as always but sadly I must be on my way," she shook her head sarcastically.

"Yeah Rowena, stop by anytime," Sam replied in a similar tone.

She threw the jar to the ground and she disappeared. She must have taken the mess with her as there was not a speck of powder in sight.

Dean admittedly wasn't even slightly worried about this whole Mega Coven thing, he knew that it would fall apart all on its own, Dean had dealt with witches many a time before and they weren't ones for get togethers.

Seeing Rowena made Cas feel ill, she was a living reminder of what Cas had done under the influence of the spell. He felt dizzy, he placed a hand to his head and ran it through his hair.

"I'm going to have to lie down," the angel croaked as he headed downstairs. He was trying to stop himself from thinking about the attack dog spell, he knew it would only upset him. Cas entered his room and lay down on the bed. The walls of his room were bare, he had some bits and pieces lying around, a few leaves he found that he really liked, some photos of Sam and Dean, his angel blade; it was nothing special but it did its job.

Not long after Cas had got settled he heard a knock on his door, he cranked his neck to see who it was.  
"Mind if I join you?"  
Dean was already entering the room and he didn't look like he was expecting an answer.

The bunker beds were small, all built to house one medium to large man. Although, that didn't stop Dean from trying to crawl in next to his angel.

They turned to face each other, feeling the heat radiating from each of them. Dean planted a soft kiss on Cas's head, Cas had his eyes closed and sighed when he came into contact with the hunter.

"I know it's hard Cas," Dean whispered, "But me and you, we're gonna get through this, together."

Honestly Dean didn't know what he was reassuring Cas about but it seemed to make him feel better. Cas burrowed his head into Dean's neck and Dean wrapped his arms around him, they stayed in the warm embrace until they were both eventually satisfied.

"Ya know what Cas," Dean chuckled, "I think we're gonna need a bigger bed." Cas gave a small laugh as he sat up, realising how squashed the two of them really were.

Dean looked at his watch, 14:55, it was still early. He remembered passing an IKEA on the road out of town, it wasn't too far away, Dean figured they could be there and back again by sundown.

"Are you ready yet?" Dean asked, personally he was always ready but he respected that Cas wanted to take his time.  
"I'm ready if you're ready," Cas nodded,  
"I was born ready," Dean smirked.

\---

They got ready quickly, Sam decided he wanted to pick up a few items for his own room and got ready with them. Dean knew this wouldn't end up being cheap but they could get it back somehow.

The drive there was...normal? They were acting as if the whole world wasn't crumbling around them, it was just your average family trip to IKEA. Dean figured that they probably wouldn't run into the forces of hell on their day out so it wouldn't kill them to behave like a normal couple. The thought made Dean laugh, if the circumstances were different maybe they could have got together years ago and maybe they could be normal everyday.

When they got out of the car Dean immediately grabbed Castiel's hand, at first the angel was worried in case they were recognised but he eased into it by the time they were in the building.

The sight nearly brought tears to Sam's eyes, every now and again he would catch his brother looking over at Castiel with a face full of joy, with a face that Sam hadn't seen in years.

They walked up and down the isles, Sam had to push the trolley on his own but he didn't mind. Dean and Cas walked ahead, still holding hands, they did get many judgemental looks, far too many. They didn't seem bothered by them at all, and honestly they were too busy looking at one another to notice.

They were looking at a king-sized dark wood bed, it was very expensive and it looked like it belonged in a palace. Definitely out of their price range but Dean wanted it so bad, he could picture them coming home after a hunt and just collapsing on it.

A woman in a blue IKEA shirt walked over to them with a beaming grin, "Hi, can I help you fella's today?" she had long black hair and her dark skin shined in the warehouse lights.  
"uh yeah...do you maybe have a bed just like this one but maybe $300 cheaper?" Dean asked hopefully.  
The woman laughed "I can check now if you'd follow me," she lead them over to one of the computers and started typing in the specifications. Sam pushed the cart after them and sat a few meters away while they picked a bed.

The woman gestured to their interlocked hands, "So how long have you two been together?" They smiled at each other, "Around two weeks now," Cas replied.  
"Only two weeks?" She looked shocked, "by the looks of you two you'd think it'd been years!"  
"Well we've been friends for over five years if that's what you mean," Dean explained.  
"Nothing's like the early stages of a relationship though, is there?" She laughed, "all the new feelings and butterflies, if only it could last forever."

"We could last forever," Cas shuffled uncomfortably,  
"With that attitude I'm sure you will," she gave a final smile before turning back to the screen.

"Here we go," she pointed to a bed that looked very similar and was much cheaper.  
"Fantastic," Dean smiled, "Sammy give us a hand here!"

Sam rushed over with the shopping cart and helped haul the box back to the car.

\---

They didn't get much else, Sam got a few shelves and a lamp for his room but that was all. He was in his room trying to set the shelves up. Every time he raised his hammer he was thrown off by laughter coming from the next room over.

How much fun could you possibly have setting up a bed? Sam figured it would be more fun if you did it with someone you loved but he wouldn't know. He sat there on his original men of letters bed listening to Dean and Castiel in the other room.

Dean's mood had soared through the roof and Sam couldn't see that diminishing anytime soon.  
He was happy for his brother but Sam just wished he had something like that himself. Every time either of them tried anything like that before it just fell apart as quick as it started but Castiel was a permanent part of their lives anyway.

Cas sat with the instructions in his hands while Dean tried screwing two of the bed pieces into place. As soon as he had them together they fell apart again.

"Come on!" Dean shouted, getting a laugh from Cas.  
"What, you think you could do it better?" Dean teased, moving closer to the Angel.  
"Maybe I could," Cas played along, his smile practically reaching his ears.

Dean pulled Cas onto his lap and kissed him, he dropped the screwdriver and grabbed his lovers waist. Cas hummed into the kiss before pulling away.

"I love you," he whispered into Dean's ear,  
"Yeah," Dean replied, "yeah, I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to break it to y'all but this is probably as smutty as it gets as I don't think a 17 year old lesbian would be all that great at writing guy/guy hahaha
> 
> New chapter next week!!  
> Feedback's always appreciated!!
> 
> -May


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